Honey And The Moon
by Muzzy-Olorea
Summary: [GC] Set after [5.01 Viva Las Vegas]. He was the first and the last person she wanted to see right now. She was the first and the last person he had ever loved.


**Honey And The Moon**

**GC Set after S5 'Viva Las Vegas'. He was the first and the last person she wanted to see right now. She was the first and the last person he hadever loved.**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or CSI. I do however own my imagination, my Muse, my insanity, my fangirliness and my dreams.**_

**A/N:- First of hopefully many GC fics.**

She had found herself back at the Crime Lab before she had even realised she had made a conscious decision to drive back there, which was weird because she didn't even know what she was doing there. She knew however that she didn't want to be at home, alone, with nothing to do except think about what a fool she had been.

She walked inside, glad that there was hardly anyone about. No doubt all of Graveshift had already gone home and Swing Shift were all out on the field giving her a chance to be alone in her office. It was tiny, just like she had told Grissom earlier, but right now it was her haven.

She stood there in the middle of the room trying to kid herself that she was thinking of what she could do to decorate the room and which photos of Lindsey to hang where but really she was just playing the scene at the nightclub over and over again in her head. It was so familiar – of course it was, it wasn't like this was the first time she had caught someone she was with screwing someone else. That was what infuriated her so much – and she wasn't even angry at Chris - though she should be. She was angry at herself. She was meant to be smart and clever with great intuition and able to see through people like they were transparent. Damn she could see through all the hidden intentions of every criminal in Vegas but couldn't even read her own boyfriends.

Grissom looked over Greg's failed proficiency report once more before shutting the file. He was certain that he had made the right decision to let him have one more chance. Greg would make a fine CSI as soon as he learnt to read the crime scene as if it were a second language - and that only came from experience and learning from your own mistakes. Sighing, he slung his coat over his arm and grabbed his bag. The new DNA girl hadn't even lasted one shift. Tomorrow morning would be spent poring over applicant files, trying to help Greg find a new replacement.

He switched the lights off and locked his office door and headed down the corridor, pausing with surprise when he saw Catherine's new office (or rather 'cupboard' as he had been forced to admit to her earlier) door open and its owner standing in the middle of the room with her back to him, looking like she was staring at the floor. He frowned. What was she doing here? She had raced off the second shift was over and by the looks of what she was wearing, she had every intention of making the most of the night. He opened his mouth to announce his presence with something witty but he was having a hard time thinking of anything. He had always thought she was beautiful but seeing her in that dress made it very hard for him to keep his vow to never think of her like _that_.

"You look nice." He said, leaning against the doorframe. She was probably about to go out with 'her new friend' again and he couldn't help feeling more jealous and resentful than he had any right to be. "Where are you off to?"

She didn't say anything at first but her head jerked up showing him that he had startled her. "Home." She said quietly. "I'm about to go home." She said without turning round.

Gil was here. Why was he here? Why hadn't he gone home already? To be honest he was the first and the last person she wanted to see now. He was her best friend and right now she could do with a friend but it seemed that she went crying to him about her men trouble all too often and he always had that look in his eye almost as if he was saying "I told you so." Plus she didn't want to burden him with this ….. Gil was a nice guy – probably the nicest guy she had ever met – but he wasn't good at the social interaction and he always seemed so uncomfortable when she came to him upset. It always seemed like he had no idea what to say to her, even though most of the time she didn't need him to speak but just to be there….. Maybe that was why he wasn't around more when Eddie was murdered and Lindsey nearly died.

Grissom heard the words catch in her throat although she did her very best to hide it. "Catherine?" he questioned, stepping into the room. Then he heard her sobbing and suddenly he had a very good idea of what had happened.

Catherine hadn't realised she had tears running down her face until she had tried to speak and now once she had started, it seemed she couldn't stop. Tears of anger, stupidity and disappointment all rolled into one.

Grissom knew that in the past he had really failed her in times like this but he was going to be sure he didn't make the same mistake this time. He put his bag and coat down on a chair and walked up to her.

"Cath?" he said softly, taking her by the arm and turning her round before gently drawing her into his arms. He still felt awkward doing this and she could feel it but she appreciated the gesture more than he would ever know. "What happened?"

"You know how all those years ago I walked in on Eddie and one of his girls that time I got home from work early?" Catherine said, pulling her head away from his chest so she could speak but still made no effort to step out of his arms. Grissom nodded. "Well it was like that all over again … I went to the nightclub to see Chris and it turns out he's not all I saw …. I'm so stupid Gil. Once again I fail to see the things which should be so obvious to me."

"You're not stupid Catherine." Grissom said, stepping back so he could look her in the eye. "These people just can't see how lucky they are to have you, they don't appreciate you, they don't deserve you." He said passionately, immediately afraid that he had said too much.

Catherine didn't think so though. She forced a smile and wiped her eyes. "Look at me. I'm a state." She sniffed.

"No you're not. You're wonderful and don't forget that." Grissom said before hiding his face from her on the pretence that he had gone to pick up his coat and bag. What was it about tonight that made it so easy for him to say all the things that he had wanted to say for a long time but had been too afraid to? "I know it's not much of a 'new office' party but how does breakfast at mine sound?" he asked, holding his coat out to her having observed she hadn't brought a jacket.

Catherine smiled – a real smile this time and pulled his coat on. "It sounds fantastic." She said softly as Grissom stood to the side, letting her pass through first.

He was not used to talking so much or acting so warm and comforting like other guys but she needed her faith in men restored and he was willing to show her that there was still one guy out there who appreciated her.

They took his car – he drove, she worked the radio - it was just like old times.

"Greg's enthusiastic to say the least." Grissom was saying over the quiet melody of Joseph Arthur. "He certainly has that in his favour but he's got quite a way to go."

"It's going to be weird not having him in the lab anymore." Catherine commented. She was well aware that Grissom was being so chatty simply to get her to think about anything else other than tonight. He was … different tonight. She couldn't quite put her finger on it but she knew it started from him hugging her …. No before that … when he'd said she looked nice. Very un-Grissom like.

"It's been a while since we've done this." She said, looking out the window as a police car pulled over a motorcyclist for speeding.

"Yes too long." Grissom said, immediately feeling guilty. "I should have said this earlier but my whole hearing thing …. I'm sorry I shut myself off and wasn't there for you with the whole Eddie thing….."

Catherine looked across at him as he pulled up outside his house. He had never said anything like that before. He'd never acknowledged that they had grown apart and she had never brought it up. He was being very thoughtful tonight. "You're here for me now aren't you?" she said, opening the door of the Denali and walking up to the front door, waiting for him to open the front door.

"Want the usual? Toast, fried eggs, sausages and all?" Grissom asked, opening his fridge-freezer and pulling ingredients out.

"Sounds delicious." Catherine said, looking around as if she were familiarising herself with the place again. Nothing much had changed – it was still exceptionally neat and less than cosy but still homely in its own way. "I was wondering if I could borrow some clothes so I can get out of this?" she said, tugging at her dress.

"Sure third chest of drawers on the left as you go in." Grissom said without looking up as he cracked the eggs into the frying pan.

"In your bedroom?" Catherine questioned, surprised. He was just going to let her go in there? It had always been his private place, his sanctorum where even she was never allowed to go. He was definitely somehow acting different tonight. Either that or she just didn't know him anymore.

"Yeah, you think you can find your way there?" Gil smiled, looking over the rim of his glasses at her. No secrets, he had told himself. He had spent the past decade of his life clammed up tight and it had consequently ruined his friendship with the one person who meant the most to him. He remembered years ago, when they had first met, back when things were innocent and carefree between them, that she had been the one person who could get almost anything out of him …… besides he had nothing to hide … did he?

Catherine walked into Grissom's room expecting it to be stuffed full of dead insects but in reality it was rather normal. A whole wall was dedicated to book shelves full of forensic and entomology textbooks, then there were his wardrobes, his neatly made bed, the usual bedside table littered with his cell phone charger, spare glasses and … she stepped closer.

He had three photo frames on there as well: one was of him and his mother – perfectly normal, she knew how much he cared for her; one was of him winning an award for his thesis on some type of really rare insect – she guessed that this was probably the happiest moment of his life … yep, he was even smiling in the photo, something which Gil Grissom never did in public; the last one, however, really surprised her – it was one of her and Lindsey taken a few years ago when her little girl had still let her pick her up and mollycoddle her. She remembered the day clearly, it was probably the last time Gil had come over before the big chasm in their friendship and they were having fun with the camera, completely wasting a roll of film. She hadn't realised Gil had got the film developed and that she and Lindsey meant so much to him to even merit a place in a photo frame. She smiled softly at the memory. Back then they had all been happier - when had life started getting so crap?

She carefully placed the frame back down and walked over to the chest of drawers and rifled through his clothes. Everything was going to be too big and look ridiculous on her but after the hell of a day she had had, she really didn't care anymore.

Grissom looked up from chopping mushrooms as Catherine walked back into the room and had to bite down on his bottom lip hard to stop himself from reacting and giving away what he was feeling. Whilst she looked gorgeous wearing that dress, there was something about the fact she was now wearing his clothes that sent his body into overdrive. She had selected his LVPD T-shirt which fell down practically to her knees and covered the pair of boxers she wore underneath. He watched as her bare feet padded across his kitchen floor and headed towards the fridge.

"Got any orange juice?" she asked almost rhetorically.

"Yep and the vodka's on the shelf." Grissom said as he returned to the chopping.

"No, not tonight." She said, taking out the carton and fetching two glasses.

"Really?" Grissom said, surprised. "It's not a Willows' breakfast without a screwdriver." He said, a hint of teasing in his voice.

"I'm not getting drunk again for your amusement like last time." Catherine told him. "It was all your fault anyway."

"How was being a good host and refilling your glass my fault!" Gil said innocently, tossing all the ingredients into the frying pan.

"It wasn't the refilling itself, it was what you were refilling it with which was the problem." Catherine said, glaring at him.

"You needed to unwind just like you do now." Gil said, leaving the food sizzling for a minute and taking Catherine by the shoulders, sat her down at the dining table. "You're allowed to set the table and that's it." He ordered, knowing that she was just on the point of helping him with the cooking.

She ran a hand through her hair and stared at the bottle Gil had placed on the table. Maybe she just needed to loosen up a bit and free her mind of Chris. Sighing, she poured a generous amount of the clear liquid into both her and Gil's glass.

"You never told me you got those photos developed." She said, looking at Gil over her shoulder.

Gil knew right away that she was referring to the photos on his bedside table and decided that there was no point in playing dumb. "Yeah, they're cute aren't they?"

"What the photos or the two stunningly beautiful people in them?" she teased.

"Well, I'm not sure my mother and I have ever been called 'stunningly beautiful' but thanks." He winked.

Catherine laughed and he felt his heart warm. He had missed hearing that a lot. "How is Lindsey?" he asked, bringing the two plates of breakfast over to the table.

"Oh don't even go there." Catherine said, picking up her fork. "She never seems to listen to what I say anymore and every time I try to tell her to do something or shout at her when her attitude gets out of hand, I get the 'If Dad was here …' line."

"It's just the dreaded teens. She'll grow out of it." Gil said but he could see that Catherine was stewing over it. "So, Chandra lasted just about as long as expected." He said, turning the conversation away from Catherine's fragmented life.

"Obviously not cut out for the relentless pace of Vegas life." Catherine agreed tucking into her breakfast. She finished the meal practically in silence, letting Gil chatter on happily about his latest addition to his bug 'family', secretly observing him. She hadn't seen Gil this animated or relaxed in a long time and even just being here with him made the whole Chris thing seem like a distant memory.

Gil noticed Catherine had relapsed into silence and he guessed she was still thinking about Chris and he knew she needed to vent before she could even think of putting it all behind her. "Come on, let's go over to the sofa and talk." He said standing up and taking the bottle of vodka and orange juice over to the coffee table.

"What about the washing up?" Catherine questioned, hating leaving the table a mess.

Gil waved his hand. "It can wait." He said sitting down on the sofa and putting his feet up on the coffee table, gulping down the rest of his drink and pouring himself a fresh one.

Catherine brought her glass over and reclined on the other side of the settee and stretching her legs out so they lay on top of Gil's, their feet touching.

"So Chris …" Gil started.

Catherine sighed. "He works in a nightclub. We used to meet a couple of times a week for dinner and some fun. I guess you couldn't say it was serious but I thought it was more to do with our busy schedules rather than the complete lack of feelings on his part. Guess I was wrong again."

"You're too trusting Catherine." Gil said.

Catherine shook her head and sighed as she nursed her glass. "No, I think I'm too blind and only see what I want to see sometimes. I mean with Eddie you would have to be blind, deaf and dumb not to realise what he was doing but I carried on ignoring it until I actually caught him in the act and then I exploded mostly because my own little dream world of denial came tumbling down."

Gil didn't know what to say to even begin to try to make her feel better.

Catherine downed the rest of her drink and put her glass down. "I mean what does it tell you about a person when she's no longer shocked at finding the guy she's with having sex with another woman?"

Gil wanted to be able to say nothing but it slipped out before he could stop it. "That she's letting herself get hurt time after time." he said quietly.

Catherine looked over at him in surprise. "Are you saying that I _want_ guys to cheat on me?"

"Not exactly … but you're smart Catherine and yet you always go for the bad boy types that even you know from the start are going to mean bad news and yet you still go for it anyway. And don't tell me it's just because you like the excitement – you're a CSI you get enough adrenaline rushes from that."

"So then, tell me why I just keep getting myself hurt!" Catherine said, sarcasm dripping from her mouth. She was amazed that Gil was even saying this – he never gave her relationship advice and then now he was saying that it was her fault her boyfriends cheated on her!

"You're scared of one day finding yourself in a serious relationship with someone you love because if anything ever went wrong you would risk getting your heart broken for good." Gil stated as if he had just been asked to read off a DNA report.

"So you're saying that catching my boyfriend cheating doesn't hurt me, in fact I positively get pleasure out of it!" She said wildly.

"No, but the smaller amount of hurt is better than getting your heart broken for good isn't it?" Gil said, watching her closely. "Look, you probably don't even know you're doing this. It's just all happening subconsciously but I can't just sit and watch you get hurt over and over again Cath."

"Grissom, if this is you trying to make me feel better, it's not working."

"Catherine, I'm not trying to make you feel better at the moment – I'm trying to get you to see the truth so you can stop putting yourself through this."

She flung her arms out in a despairing gesture. "What am I meant to do Gil? I work 12 hour shifts every day – sometimes more, I have a daughter who no matter how much time I try to spend with her, doesn't even want to know me, I'm stressed 24 hours a day; I need a release. I just need someone to be there and I've come to the point in my life where I've had to recognize that I'm never going to find a guy who's going to accept me for who I am so I may as well take some half decent guy who's willing to see me twice a week and take me out to dinner and have some fun and take my chances with him. How can you deny me that? Not everyone's like you who can go days, months, years without need for human contact outside of work. What else do you expect me to do Gil?" Catherine raged, glaring at Gil.

Gil stared at her. She had withdrawn her legs and pulled away so she was sitting the furthest away from him as was possible without falling off the couch. Her eyes were glistening and she was sending daggers his way like he had just betrayed her.

He put his glass down on the table, unsure whether what he was about to do was really wise at all. "Let me be that other person in your life." He said quietly, watching her eyes open wide and her mouth open slightly in shock. "As you can probably guess I'm not the most inventive or original person regarding this but to start we could go out for dinner/breakfast and during our days off maybe we could do something with Lindsey, get her to interact with you more but making it less tense with me there for her to take her anger out on as well. I've got a lot of catching up to do Catherine but you mean such a lot to me ….. besides I could do with getting out of my townhouse more." He added with a quiet chuckle to take some of the intensity out of what he had just said.

Catherine just stared at him, watching him look at her expectantly. "I'm sorry, I don't understand what you're saying." She said softly and then paused. "Are we still on the friends page or ….. did you just ask me out?"

Gil looked back at her like a helpless puppy. He had worded it so she could have taken it either way and he wouldn't have to bare his soul to her but now she was asking him out right and he felt like he had just plunged straight into the deep end but couldn't swim. He thought about what he had seen in movies or on TV of how men suddenly declared their undying love for a woman and they kissed and they lived happily ever after but he didn't think he had it in him to take such a big chance. "What do you want it to be?" he asked carefully.

"I don't know." Catherine said so softly, he could hardly hear her. "Maybe it's the alcohol but one minute I thought I was reflecting on my emotional instability and the next I think I hear my best friend asking me to date him ….. but that can't be true, can it, because we've known each other for nearly twenty years and you've never thought of me like that have you?"

Gil sighed and looked down at his hands. He was buckling – he just didn't have the guts to go through with this. He looked back at her tentatively. "Look, maybe we shouldn't talk about this now. You've still getting over Chris and I'm crossing the line and I really should know when to stop talking." He said kneading his hands together. "Though you might not believe it now, I didn't invite you here with the express purpose to make things incredibly awkward between us which I've obviously been successful in doing."

Catherine stared at him, her heart racing. She felt like in the past few minutes she had stepped out her body and was floating in another dimension. She was desperately trying to process what she had just heard ……… she was feeling dizzy, like everything said, everything done, every single tiny thing that had ever passed between them in the past twenty years came rushing at her all at once. She remembered seeing Gil for the first time and totally falling head over heels for him without really knowing why. She could remember how nervous she would feel after her shift was over at the French Palace knowing that he would be waiting for her by the exit so they could go grab breakfast together and all the time praying that he would ask her out on a date soon. When that never happened, she had moved on but not before settling for having him as her best friend, the one person who saw past the stripping and what she looked like, for what she really was. She had buried her feelings for Gil so deep over the years that it had been a long time since she had looked at him as anything more than a friend – she had learnt long ago that there was no point chasing unrealistic dreams. Then, after so long, the first guy she had ever loved was now asking her out and, what's more, offering to be there not just for her but for Lindsey as well. But this was Gil, _Gil_. In all the years they had known each other he had never given any indication that he was interested in her romantically. Sure they flirted but only in the comfortable way that age-old friends could and he had never ever given any comment or advice to her on her love life up the point where he hadn't even told her about Eddie cheating …… if he liked her like that surely even the, what people often called, emotionless, impassive bug-lover would have shown some signs of jealousy at some point over the past two decades …………..

She crawled across the sofa until she was sitting right beside him. "Gil, I haven't thought about Chris since I got here, which I know is weird considering how upset I was about it earlier, but I don't know whether it's to do with the connection we have but when I'm with you all the bad stuff just seems to fade away." She said, wishing Gil would look at her. "But you can't just say something like that and then expect me to ignore it." She said, touching his hand with her own.

Gil felt the warmth of her hand on his and he felt some glimmer of hope begin to rise in him again. He looked at her. She was sitting so close now, a few more inches and their heads would be touching. He held her gaze for a moment. Her eyes …. So brilliantly blue … he could feel himself getting lost in them all too easily. "Okay but I'm not sure you want to hear this." He said.

"Trust me I do." Catherine said softly, giving him a small smile.

Gil swallowed hard. "You don't need me to tell you that I'm not the world's most eloquent speaker and it gets even harder when I have to speak about how I'm feeling … I guess because I'm so unused to doing it. You see, for the past twenty years I have been hiding what I feel about you. Don't ask me to explain why …. I think at first it was because I thought I wasn't good enough for you and then next because I was sure you would never be interested in me and then after Eddie I guess I thought it was too late for anything to ever happen between us and then we would be better off as friends because at least that way I'll always get to have you around. I think for a time, because I'd been hiding it so much, I actually managed to convince myself that I was over you and I tried to date other women but either I really suck at dating or they all went so bad because deep down I didn't want them to work out …." He paused. "I think what I'm trying to say is that it has always been you Catherine. I just hope I'm not too late." He said, staring earnestly into her eyes. She was staring right back at her but he couldn't read her. Her eyes were watery but he didn't know whether that was a good or bad thing.

Catherine wanted to be able to tell him how she felt, what she was thinking, but the hold he had on her at the moment made it physically impossible for her to speak.

He watched as a strand of hair fell across her face and unable to resist, he reached out to tuck it behind her ear and watched as she closed her eyes and leant into his hand. "Catherine, I saw you for the first time at the bar in the French Palace and twenty years later I'm still in love with you." He said softly.

Eyes closed, her lips parted like she wanted to say something but had forgotten how to speak.

Gil leant down and slowly brushed her lips with his and he immediately felt her arms curl around his neck and draw him closer ….. He felt like he was in heaven.

They pulled apart for a second and looked deeply into each other eyes and the next thing he knew, she was straddling him and pushing him back against the settee.

"Wow." Catherine said quietly when they eventually pulled apart.

Gil smiled and she grinned back as she sat on him, their heads still touching, caught in the moment. "Tell me why it took us twenty years to do that." She questioned.

"Because I'm an idiot." Gil said, his hands moving down her back sending shivers up her spine.

"Well, Doctor Grissom, you're certainly a very talented idiot then." Catherine said, smirking at him seductively, drawing him into another kiss before pulling abruptly away again causing Gil to groan. "So why after all these years did you finally decide to give me my own office? Finally fed up of me sitting on your desk?"

Gil smiled. "No, I think it was my last ditch attempt at trying to get over you and move on." He said.

"Well," Catherine said, bringing her head down closer so her breath tickled his face, teasing him. "It doesn't seem to have worked then."

**A/N:- Thoughts?**


End file.
